It's A Hate Thing
by Fishbein
Summary: Sirius gets revenge in the most unexpected of ways. Severus has a lapse in judgement. And then Sirius makes Severus an offer that he won't refuse. It's a road to self destruction, but they'd always hated each other. SB/SS. As close to canon as possible.
1. Guilty Pleasure

**Disclaimer** - This should be painfully obvious, but I don't own our favourite two troublemakers. They're property of J. K. Rowling, but, judging from how much we steal them all away, maybe she should keep better tabs on them so stuff like this doesn't happen. ;)

**In case you didn't realize...**This is going to be slash. Don't like? Don't read. I promise I won't set you under the imperius curse. This is the only warning you're gonna get; here there be monsters. ;) Or, in this case, Sirius' devious little ways.

* * *

"Where the hell is the little bastard?" Muttered a tall Gryffindor student, bending over a huge piece of parchment and scanning it like his life depended on it. He frowned, bringing his lit wand closer to see. It was really late, but he was hoping a certain Slytherin was still out and about in the castle. _I'll make the bugger pay yet_, he swore, starting his search in a different section of the Marauder's Map.

Finally, Sirius found what he'd been after. Snivellous was in the library, over in a back corner. The animagus grinned. The prank Snivellous had pulled on him had been both embarrassing, and overly well done. He had to give the git points for that, at least, but he **was** going to get him back.

Grabbing James' cloak, he threw it over himself and pocketed the map after blanking it out. Silently, with years of practice, he snuck out of the dorm and headed downstairs towards the library, where his quarry lay.

Getting into the library was a bit trickier, as Pince always locked the doors, but Sirius had long ago learned the spell to let him in, and it only hindered him slightly. Sneaking in, he oriented himself in this less familiar place before heading off between the shelves. As a rule, Sirius didn't go anywhere where learning and studying and, dare he think it, _homework_ was done, if he could help it. This was Mooney's turf.

Coming up to the corner where Snape was, Sirius found himself sneaking along the row of books, even though he was completely hidden. When he turned the corner, wand raised and ready to hex the greasy git up and down, he found himself stunned into shock.

Snape was asleep! Of all things. The boy's head was drooped onto his chest, his feet propped on the table, where all of his work was spread out. A book was spread face down over his chest, and he was breathing deeply, his mouth hanging slightly open.

Sirius moved closer to stare down at the completely defenseless Slytherin, his face devoid of its usual wicked grin and/or glare. He had the urge to take Snape's discarded cloak and cover him with it. He immediately shook that thought away. Stupid dog traits. He'd been running around in his animagus a bit too much this week, he guessed, seeing as how a dog's personality was rubbing off on him. Unconditional love, and all that, he supposed. And he liked to knaw on the bones from his dinner too.

But this was Snivellous. He didn't deserve any of Sirius' love, unconditional or not. An intelligent part of Sirius' brain told him that that was an oxymoron, but he ignored it, changing his attention instead to the book slumped over Snape's chest. He wondered what it was. There was no title on the front, and it was an undescript - and predictable - black. He stood for a moment before leaning over and carefully plucking the book off of his sleeping classmate.

Shifting his gaze from watching Snape's face for any signs of alertness, he pulled off the cloak and stuffed it in his pocket before taking the book to the candle that burned low on the table to read by. His gaze snapped back to Snape after he read a line. This was a journal! He grinned, _oh, this is even better than hexing him into next week! Think of all the dirt we'll have on him now!_ But as he flipped back through it, skimming pages, he didn't find any deep, dark secrets, or anything that was actually particularly useful to him. It was like one of those…whaddya-call-ems…Sirius tried for a moment to think of the word for it, knowing there was one. But he soon gave up. Anyways, it was just random thoughts meandering along as Snape wrote them. It wouldn't help him in his quest to get back at Snape.

Sighing, he perched on the arm of a chair, flicking through the journal a bit slower. Snape's inner voice actually sounded a lot like his own. Sarcastic, sometimes dry humor, but mostly taking everything that happened to him as it went. Random doodles were thrown in at places, and his handwriting was scrawled lazily, instead of the Slytherin's normally neat handwriting.

Sirius found himself snorting with the effort of holding back a laugh as he read a particularly funny comment Snape had made about one of their teachers. He didn't know the git could be so amusing, and he felt his curiosity pique again as doubt touched over him. Maybe Snape wasn't so bad, really. Sirius scoffed at himself; it was Snape. Of course he was bad! He glanced up to see if he'd disturbed Snape, and froze, his thoughts derailing completely.

Snape regarded him with wary eyes, his black gaze searching Sirius' stunned and guilty one. He hadn't moved an inch from where he was slumped, but his gaze narrowed into a glare as Sirius carefully set down the journal. The animagus felt strangely guilty for reading it, even though that's what you do when you find an unattended - in this case, unguarded - journal. You read it. Still, he felt like maybe he'd crossed a line somewhere or something.

But, being Sirius Black, sarcastic adolescent troublemaker that he was, recovered quickly. "Oops, you caught me. Better be more careful with your possessions, Snivellous, or I'll rid you of them for you," he looked pointedly at all of the homework spread on the table and smirked.

Snape sat up a bit straighter in his chair and blinked slowly. Sirius noted his eyes were still glazed from sleep and pounced on that, too. "Need help waking up, git? I could levitate you upside down, again. That might help, don't you think?"

The Slytherin looked at Sirius with a tired expression on his face, "Did you ever notice, Black, that you talk too much?" He glanced over his homework without really seeing it and rubbed his eyes again. "Not that you really think about what comes out your mouth."

Sirius' gaze narrowed, and he pulled out his wand, growling angrily, "Don't talk back to me, you greasy little prick."

Snape looked warily at the wand now pointed in his face and sighed. "I don't have time for this," he snapped, "Do you intend to do something? I have work to do, and I'd prefer if we could get this over with," he made no move towards his own wand, which Sirius found curious.

"You do realize why I'm here," he said slowly, his wand lowering slightly as Snape rubbed his face again.

"Of course. For that prank. Go ahead and get your revenge. Like I said, I don't have time for this. I don't care."

"Since when don't you care about me humiliating you?" Sirius was confused. And even though he'd attacked Snape before, the other always ended up going for his wand in self defence. Or at least had it out. The git's wand was nowhere to be seen. His Gryffindor side kicked in a bit, as Sirius realized he wouldn't attack anyone, even Snape, when he was defenseless.

"Black. Use your head. There's no one around for me to be humiliated in front of. Besides," he added carefully, as if admitting this was admitting a weakness, "I'm tired." He regarded Sirius again cautiously, and quirked an eyebrow after a moment. "I've managed to silence the biggest blathering idiot in school?" he smirked, "You must be losing your touch."

"Am not," Sirius said lamely, for some reason not wanting to fight either any longer. Instead, he changed tack. "Why are you here?"

Snape raised another skeptical eyebrow, "Why do you care?"

"I don't. I just wondered."

"Work. It's what you're supposed to do in school, Black."

"Well, yeah, but not at three in the morning," Sirius waved his arms around, "Everyone's asleep."

"Apart from us. I know this will shock you, Black, but sometimes your stupid pranks have consequences for me. Like missing classes when you lock me in closets and getting me into detention," he paused, and then sighed, pinching the brow of his nose and frowning, "Often I have little time for the things I need to get done."

Sirius couldn't shake the feeling that he was in the wrong. Which he was, but Sirius still saw it as doing good, in his naivety. "Er," he said intelligently.

"Once again your vocabulary astounds me," Snape said dryly, pulling his journal away from Sirius carefully and then putting it in his bag before turning back to his homework.

Sirius watched him curiously for a few minutes. Where did the angry, always ready to give as good as he got, prick of a Slytherin he knew go? Snape ignored him for as long as he could, but when it was obvious that the Gryffindor wasn't going to leave him alone, he sighed. "Black. Don't you have something better to do? Like, drown yourself?"

Sirius' gaze narrowed, "Hey, watch it, I'm still the only one with a wand out."

"Yes, and you've really put it to use, haven't you?" snapped Snape, throwing him a glare, "I only will ask once more. Why are you here?"

"Because I'm going to get back at you for what you did to me," Sirius replied, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

"Do you plan on doing that anytime soon? Or are you going to try and burn a hole through my head by staring at it?"

"Sheesh, you'd think being nice to a guy would mean something," muttered Sirius.

Snape leaned back in his chair and leveled another glare at Sirius, "You're not being nice, Black. You're being annoying. I don't think you know how to be nice."

"Wow, I didn't know you could think," said Sirius, feigning shock.

"Maybe you should come up with some new insults. I'm actually getting bored of these grippingly humorous ones you use every time you see me," countered Snape sarcastically, sneering.

"I'm getting bored with this conversation," snapped Sirius, waving his wand threateningly.

Snape just stared at him, "Then why do you continue it? Leave me alone, Black."

Sirius frowned, and lowered his wand again. There was something wrong here, with them. Snape wasn't jumping to the bait, and Sirius found he didn't want to fight with him either, even though he was still pissed about the prank. _What is wrong with me?_ He silently screamed at himself. _Hex the bastard, already!_ He just stared back at Snape, who eventually turned again back to his homework.

Sirius watched him again for a bit, noticing how tense the other was. Why was that? Oh, cause he was there. That's right. There were circles under Snape's eyes, too, like he hadn't slept well in a while. Him again. Despite himself, Sirius was feeling bad. He shook his head to clear it, gazing vacantly at a bookshelf. He was Sirius Black! He didn't feel bad! He noticed the quill had stopped scratching its way across the parchment and glanced back at Snape.

Black eyes were now watching him calculatingly. "What?" asked Sirius innocently, "I'm not even talking. What did I do now?"

An eyebrow rose slowly, "The Black I know would've hexed me while I was asleep. I'm still trying to figure out what it is you're doing here. Other than waste space."

Sirius rolled his eyes, "Was that really necessary?"

"Are you really necessary?"

Sirius frowned. "I'm out of sorts tonight, apparently. Like you are."

Snape snorted, "Out of sorts? What, did you not meet your quota of one night stands this week?" he adopted a sarcastically sympathetic look, "Oh, poor Black. Whatever shall he do?"

Sirius glared at him, "At least I _do_ get laid, which is more than I can say for you. Maybe you wouldn't be such a prick if you did sometimes."

"Your words tear my fragile heart to pieces; I'm insulted," said Snape dryly, "You probably wouldn't be such a prick if you didn't."

An idea was forming in Sirius' head, one that he wasn't sure he liked. It certainly had shock value, even for him. But, _hell_, was he really considering this? His conscience warred inside.

"Do you ever relax, Snivellous?" asked Sirius, noticing that Snape was still tense, as if he were ready to run at any moment. Which he probably was.

"Not by your standards, I'm sure."

"You probably should. That would definitely take some of the git out of you. You're so uptight all the time."

Snape leaned back in his chair and looked at Sirius, "Why the hell are you so buddy-buddy with me suddenly? Why do you care?"

"I don't," Sirius said, "I just wondered."

"Curiosity killed the cat," Snape snapped, "Or in this case, stupid dog."

Sirius' eyes narrowed, but he continued, a wicked gleam in his eyes. "Curiosity does get in my way a lot. Are you going to answer me?"

"I wasn't aware you'd asked a question that I hadn't answered." Snape replied levelly, picking up his quill again.

Sirius thought back, and realized that Snape was right. For once. Well, once that he'd admit, anyways. "Well, why don't you relax?"

Sighing, Snape set his quill down again without having used it and glared up at Sirius, "I can't. You're here," He glanced away, "I'm not used to relaxing, anyways."

Sirius rolled his eyes, "Oh, come off it! Haven't you just _not _done your homework, or played a game of Exploding Snap, or snogged some random girl until you can't remember what your name is, let alone why you're worked up?"

"You know of all people that no one would dream of doing that sort of thing with me," Snape said, keeping any emotion from his voice, "You remind me enough. I don't play card games, and _I_, one of the seemingly only people in this school, _care_ about my education." His voice had become more and more clipped as he spoke, and Sirius grinned at him. A nagging voice in his head told him he was going to regret what he was about to do, but he ignored it.

Slipping off of the chair's arm he was perched on, Sirius tucked his wand away and slowly approached Snape, standing right in front of him and leaning against the table. He smirked playfully, "Perhaps I can help you."

Snape's hand dropped from where it had been propping up his chin and he stared at Sirius. "What?" He asked in a flat voice, leaning back as he tried to figure out what Sirius was doing.

Sirius was silent, and Snape continued, "I don't understand, Black. How the hell would you help me? More importantly, _why _would you do that? Besides, I don't need help."

"Au contraire." Sirius said, that playful smile still on his face, "I think you do." He leaned forwards a little.

Snape's eyes grew wide as he recognized that smile. It was the one Black usually used on girls he was chasing. He frowned worriedly, "What are you on about, Black?"

Sirius placed both arms on either side of the chair, blocking Snape if he decided to run. "Use that intelligent head of yours and figure it out." He kept his head close to Snape's, enjoying watching the boy squirm with discomfort.

"Ge-get away from me." Snape said, leaning as far away from Sirius as he could. What the _HELL_ was Black doing?

"I don't think so," muttered Sirius, before he leaned forwards and kissed Snape. It wasn't as bad as he expected it to be, really. His lips were soft, and partially opened in shock as he felt the rest of Snape's body seize up. Sirius, not one for missing opportunity, roughly made his way into Snape's mouth, kissing him more forcefully.

Snape still didn't react, other than to raise his hands, intent on pushing him away. Instead, he found them acting of their own accord, grasping the Gryffindor's shirt tightly. Sirius broke away, gauging the emotions flitting across Snape's face before climbing onto him. Snape swallowed uncertainly, still too in shock to do anything.

Sirius leaned down and started kissing along his jaw, reaching his ear and biting it playfully. He smirked as he heard a quick intake of breath. Snape shut his eyes, trying to force his arms to push away rather than pull forwards. Sirius was _kissing_ him. _What the hell did his friends slip into his drink?_ Was all he could wonder blankly. He couldn't deny that it felt good. To be desired. To be touched. He was too confused to even wonder why Sirius was doing what he was doing. Far too confused to remember he hated the boy. Loathed, even.

Sirius moved down onto Snape's neck, gripping his shoulders, running his tongue over Snape's collarbone, and then nipping at his throat as Snape swallowed again, trying to find his voice. "Black." He finally choked out, his voice full of uncertainty and fear, "What are you doing?"

Sirius paused in his ministrations to answer, quietly, "I should have thought that much was obvious."

"But…_why_?" Snape was starting to come to his senses, and Sirius grabbed his head, kissing him forcefully again. This time, he was satisfied to feel Snape hesitantly kiss back. He only stopped when he'd run out of air, and hovered in front of the other, his breath coming in gasps. Snape's breathing wasn't any better, coming in ragged, uneven bursts. He realized he was getting hard, and hated Sirius for being the cause of it. Why Sirius, of all people? Was he really that desperate for someone's attention?

Smirking devilishly, Sirius slid off of Snape to kneel in front of his chair. He smirked even more when he saw Snape reluctantly let go and barely contain a whimper at the loss of body contact. No matter, he wouldn't be unhappy for long. "I'm helping." He said simply, not really answering Snape's question.

Snape opened his mouth again to say something, but Sirius had come forwards again and had slid one hand up the Slytherin's shirt while the other fumbled with his trousers. Snape drew in a quick breath and shut his eyes, unbelieving. The small, rational part of his brain told him to lash out at Sirius, kick him in the face, or _something_, and get away. For once, he didn't listen to it. It felt much too good.

Sirius finally got Snape's trousers to listen to him and pulled them down slightly. Reaching into Snape's boxers, he easily found what he was looking for and brought it out, stroking Snape's manhood. Snape's breathing hitched, and he grew even harder under Sirius' treatment, letting out a low moan. Sirius, still grinning, rose up, and started kissing Snape again. The other boy met him with some enthusiasm this time, keeping it up even though he'd long ago run out of breath.

Sirius broke away, kissing his neck again, pausing when he found a sensitive spot. He bit down, drawing out a strangled, quiet cry from Snape. Snape was starting to squirm, as Sirius started pumping Snape's shaft a bit faster.

Then he stopped and drew back, kneeling down. This time, Snape did try to keep Sirius from leaving his lap, but Sirius easily avoided his grasping hands. He pulled Snape forwards in the chair, and then bent his head over Snape's erection. Snape took in a breath, as Sirius took his member into his mouth. He licked carefully, grazing him with his teeth, and Snape grabbed ahold of his long hair moaning and panting, his thoughts white. A heat was growing in his abdomen, and he jerked his hips as Sirius teasingly stalled, drawing back whenever Snape got too worked up.

After a few minutes of the tantalizing sensations, it grew too much for Snape. He tried to say something other than groans and gasps, but he couldn't remember how to speak. "Bl-Black. Stop it. I c-can't tak-." Sirius rolled his tongue over the tip of Snape's cock, and Snape sucked in another breath, trying to continue, his words coming out in a sound that was half cry, half moan.

Sirius paused, causing Snape to squirm, rolling his hips, trying to do something with the unbearable feeling of being on the brink. Sirius finally complied as Snape grew frantic. Apparently having no gag reflex, Sirius deep throated Snape repeatedly. Snape's eyes grew wide, but he couldn't see anything except pleasure, coming in bigger and bigger waves as he climaxed, spurting his juice into Sirius' mouth. Sirius took it all in as Snape's groan shattered, leaning over to put his forehead onto Sirius' head.

The Gryffindor waited patiently for Snape to come down and catch his breath, then drew away. Snape grappled blindly for him, pulling him into a kiss. Sirius grinned, and snogged him hard, dominating Snape's mouth, and Snape let him.

When they broke away from each other, Snape's face was flushed, and his eyes were wide as the world came crashing back and he realized fully what had just happened. Sirius looked thoughtfully at him, and then stood up. "Right then. See? Relaxing. It's good." He yanked Snape's trousers back up for him, seeing as how the Slytherin was incapable, his hands shaking. He patted Snape's head and grinned wolfishly at him; Snape stared up at him, mouth agape.

"What…what was that?" He demanded, trying to keep his voice from shaking. He looked like he couldn't quite focus on Black, as if his eyes wouldn't behave quite properly.

"It's called a blow job, idiot." Sirius said, back to his sarcastic self. He had to admit, it had been fun. He could feel his own erection pressing uncomfortably against his pants.

Snape managed to quirk an eyebrow, still breathless, "You know what I mean."

Sirius shrugged, and gave him another wolfish grin. "You needed to relax. You're always so uptight. Lucky for you, I know how to relieve stress. Besides," he grinned again, "I'll bet that'll be more embarrassing for you to remember every time you see me from now on than _any_ curse you or I know." He winked at Snape, and then left the library, who still sat, completely dumbfounded.

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**A/N:** I've no idea how I did. I tried not to completely fail at them being OOC, but Snape is currently incapable of forming coherent thoughts, haha. And Sirius? Well, he's Sirius. Let me know what you think, if you don't mind dropping me a line. Reviews are made of love.


	2. On Top

**Disclaimer:** I wish I had them. But alas.

**Warning: **In case the first warning wasn't seen or something, it's slash again. Also, Severus can't focus and sounds a little like a broken record.

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Snape avoided Black for an entire week - save for once, even skipping meals when he had to. Sirius had been right. It _was_ more embarrassing than any hex the other could have ever cast. Thinking about it too much gave him a headache. He'd been having a lot of headaches. Severus sighed, dreading having to go to Potions.

Slughorn, by some stroke of luck, had taken sick that very night when Snape and Sirius had been…involved, and had given everyone the week off. Most teachers assigned work while they were sick, but Slughorn was a lazy bastard in Snape's opinion, and didn't. This time, he didn't mind it so much.

To Sirius' credit, he hadn't gone actively looking for Snape. He walked down the usual halls used to get to his classes. He didn't go to the library, and he didn't even try to find Snape on the Marauder's Map. Quite honestly, he'd been very in control of himself, he thought. He'd seen him only once during the week, and, being the cocky bastard that he was, couldn't help but grin and wink at the Slytherin, who hurriedly turned into a different corridor.

Snape reluctantly entered his only class with Sirius, breathing a sigh of relief when Lily was waiting for him at the front of class, and the Marauders were all in the back. As usual. For once, Snape didn't mind when Potter threw a wad of parchment at his head and heard Black snicker, throwing an insult his way. Back to the way things were supposed to be. Mutual distaste for each other.

The class went normally, but Snape couldn't shake the feeling that two eyes bored into the back of his head all period. When it was over, Snape sped out of the room, hurrying up the steps. He stopped beside a small, rarely used corridor, that was hidden from the main one, waiting for Sirius. He had to be sure things were normal between them. The confusion wouldn't leave until he was certain.

Luck was on his side as he peered around the corridor - Black was trailing behind his group of Gryffindor idiots. He waited, and then as Black passed his hiding spot, he reached out and yanked him in, pinning him to the wall. Before he could lose the nerve, he crashed his lips against Black's, as the surprised Gryffindor let out a muffled yell.

A fist crashed into his abdomen and he sailed backwards into the other wall, winded. Snape gaped soundlessly, as Sirius barely contained his anger. "What the _fuck_, Snivellous? What makes you think I'd want to touch you, let alone have your foul mouth on mine?" He stomped his foot for emphasis, and pulled out his wand.

"Good," gasped Snape, grinning, despite the situation.

"…What?" It was the second time the greasy Slytherin had knocked Sirius' thoughts into confusion. That wasn't what he'd expected from him. He lowered his wand slightly, tilting his head.

"I said, good," repeated Snape, straightening finally, "I see you've come to your senses. Believe me, the feeling is mutual. Never come near me again."

He left. Sirius stared at the space on the wall where Snape had been, blinking slowly. He should probably have expected that, but part of him felt deflated. It was once in a blue moon that Sirius was insulted like that. _I mean, most of them were silly girls, not Snivellous, but…_ For some reason he couldn't quite explain, he felt put out. Sirius scoffed at himself and headed back out into the main corridor. He supposed he was used to everyone trailing after him like a lost puppy for days after any sort of intimate activity with said person.

Sirius shrugged it off, deciding that that was all it was. "He could have had the decency to thank me," he muttered, not convincing himself. Snape had no reason to be thankful for anything that the Gryffindor had ever done to him. He punched a pillar as he passed it, frustrated. He should _not_ be upset by this. He shouldn't have even done it in the first place. What was _wrong_ with him?

Snape was having no such thoughts. _Horrible, disgusting, annoying prick_, he thought, stomping down another corridor, glad that the weekend was upon them. He'd stay at the school, and be left completely alone as everyone went down to Hogsmeade. He still couldn't believe what Sirius had done. What he'd let him do. Snape shivered, feeling dirty, unable to shake the memory.

He passed a window as he headed up the stairs to the library. Glancing out, he paused as he caught sight of his least favourite people heading out to the Quidditch pitch. Good. They could go fall off their brooms and he'd be rid of them for good. He glared at one figure in particular, hate welling up. Black was peering at a piece of paper, or something. As he was about to turn and continue on his way, Black stopped walking. Snape, curiosity almost as bad as Black's, waited to see what had caught his attention.

To his complete surprise, Black turned and faced the window he was standing in front of. He had the feeling that the Gryffindor knew he was there, even though it was impossible for him to see Snape from so far away. Disconcerted, Snape turned and hurried up the rest of the stairs. As such, he didn't see the grin that spread across Black's face.

Snape spent five, wonderful hours by himself, giving him time to catch up on all of his homework. He'd just finished his last essay, and was leaning back in his chair. Being back at his spot in the library was slightly off-putting now, but Snape was determined that Black wouldn't chase him from the only place he called his own. Black…his eyes found a distant place to focus on as he thought back again, this time letting himself, as he stared up at the ceiling.

His hand absentmindedly traced circles on the chair arm. He couldn't deny that Black was a skilled…partner. He also couldn't deny that, even though it was Black, he'd liked the feeling of being wanted, even if it had been a twisted sort of game. Besides, he'd let him, hadn't he? He could have pushed him away. Severus closed his eyes and, taking the advice that Sirius had given him, relaxed for a bit, not letting anything worry him.

He was just starting to doze off when he felt a wand tip at his throat and a voice close to his ear, instantly recognizable as Black's. Damn that idiot and his timing. Snape frowned as Sirius whispered darkly, "Did you tell anyone?" His wand tip was stabbing painfully into his skin, but Snape ignored it mostly.

"Why would I, Black?" he asked, feeling all of his stress come back to him, laying itself in layers on him. He opened his eyes and turned his head to survey Black.

Doubt flickered over the other's face, "Because you hate me. Because you want to ruin my reputation," he glanced down at Snape's hands and then back to his face. "Why haven't you gone for your wand?"

"Maybe because I have one jabbing into my throat," snarled Snape. "You're not the only one with a reputation. What do you imagine would happen to me if the others found out about that…mistake?" He spat the words, and Sirius stood up, taking a step back, though he kept his wand hovering in front of him.

"Judging from your reaction the other day, I'd say it wasn't a mistake." Sirius finally said, putting his free hand on a hip, feeling angry.

"It was. I hate you." Snape said, and he believed it. It was true. He loathed Black and the rest of his little gang.

Sirius smirked, "But you didn't hate what I did. Don't you dare deny it. You aren't that good of a liar."

Severus' eyes found the table and he bit his lip, feeling awkward, "I don't deny it," he said, "but it was the actions, not the person. It was a mistake."

Sirius barely kept from flinching at Snape's words. He'd never been denied like that, told that he didn't matter. His gaze hardened, "You keep saying that. Are you trying to convince me, or yourself?"

Snape didn't answer, merely stared at the table. Eventually Black sighed, and, warily looking at Snape, tucked his wand away. For some reason, he trusted Snape in the library. He seemed a slightly different person away from all other people, surrounded as he was by his precious books. "Why do you come here?" he asked, wondering if his assumption was correct.

"No people," said Snape shortly, then added, "Apart from a bloody annoying mutt that won't leave me alone."

Black smirked, even though the reference to his animagus form was unnerving, "I've never left you alone. No reason for me to change." He laced his hands behind his head, kicking back against a bookshelf.

Snape finally looked at him, "And yet here you are, deliberately seeking me out, for no seemingly better reason than to babble at me. That's a bit of a change," he pointed out.

Sirius' face fell slightly, but he hid it, hoping Snape wouldn't notice, "Actually, I do have a reason for being here."

The lanky boy didn't miss the look, and quirked an eyebrow, in the way that only he could, "If it's for me to return the favour, you're out of luck."

Black rolled his eyes, "Don't flatter yourself," he snapped, "I just came here to hide."

This piqued Snape's interest. Black? Hide from something? He smiled wickedly, "I never thought I'd hear those words, Black. You? The mighty, haughty, popular prick, _hide_? And in my company too, no doubt."

"This is the last place they'd look for me, okay?" snapped Sirius angrily, flopping into a chair.

"They? Ah, your…comrades. Did Potter finally decide you were too much competition for Lily or something?" His throat caught a bit as he said that. She'd only recently started talking to him again. He shouldn't have said that.

Despite his mood, Sirius smiled, "You think I'm better looking than James?" He asked slyly, perking up a bit. A boost to one's ego was a boost, no matter who it was from. Snape scowled at him until Sirius rolled his eyes and continued, "No. Not that it's any of your business. I flew into him while we were practicing. He's fractured his arm and cracked his kneecap. Now all of Gryffindor are after my head, including James. He's pissed, cause the game is tomorrow, and he won't be better in time. Even with the Skele-Grow."

Snape was silent for a very long time, while Sirius moped. "Why are you telling me this then, Black? I don't care if your friends hate you. I actually quite like it. Knock them off their brooms more often."

"It was an accident!" Black exclaimed, throwing his hands in the air. He pillowed his head on his arms and huffed, "I don't know why they're suddenly all so pissed. One minute, they're all around me, wanting my attention, and the next, they've grabbed their wands and formed a lynch mob!"

The Slytherin was silent, thinking that Black was being extremely hypocritical. Black finally pulled his head out of his arms and sighed heavily. "Anyways."

Snape quirked an eyebrow again. "Anyways?" He repeated, with a sneer. "Well, it was _wonderful_ having this talk, Black, but I'm afraid you'll have to find somewhere else to hide. I don't want you near me, as I said."

Sirius stared at him, "What? Really? Not even after I g-"

"No, Black. Not even after. Why do I sound like a broken record? Get it through your head: _it was a mistake_." Snape scowled at him, "If you think that makes up for all the hell you've put me through, you're sorely mistaken." He folded his arms.

The handsome dark-haired boy grinned, then, "Well, then, I can certainly try to even out the score…" He started to get out of his chair and to Snape, but the glare that could have melted rocks stopped him.

"That is _not_ what I meant. Now, get the hell away."

Sirius tried a different tack, "No."

"Leave."

"No."

"Merlin, Black, why the hell not?"

"You're interesting." Snape frowned, unsure if that was a compliment, or if he should even take it as one at all.

"Who the hell are you? Did you make a polyjuice potion and turn into Black? Because I don't know you."

Sirius laughed wickedly, "I'm sure you don't want me to prove I'm me," His grey eyes glinted mischievously, and Snape rolled his eyes, trying to ignore the blush that ever so faintly tinted his cheeks. Sirius wasn't sure why it was, but he wanted to spend more time with the Slytherin. He wasn't as much of a git as he'd thought. Snape, on the other hand, had different thoughts.

"What do I have to do to get you to leave?" Snape snarled, through with having Black near him. It was making him uncomfortable, and his thoughts were starting to take on a confusing train of thought. From the look on Sirius' face, he winced as he realized what he'd asked, "That _doesn't_ involve me coming anywhere near you?"

"Oh," said Sirius, feigning being upset, "Well, I guess you're stuck with me, then." He smiled.

"Fine. Whatever." Snape hissed, grabbing a book and pulling it open to the page he was on. He began to read. Sirius was quiet for a long time, and Snape actually half-forgot he was there, becoming rather engrossed in his book. It wasn't exactly a comfortable silence, but it wasn't exactly sparking with hostility, either. Unfortunately for Severus, Sirius got bored easily.

"Can we do something?" Sirius finally asked, huffing.

Snape didn't look up from his book, turning the page, "Are you ever _not_ horny?"

"Nope," came the unashamed reply. Snape just sighed. Sirius got up and moved around to see what Snape was reading. It was in some different language. He didn't recognize any of the words. He frowned. Maybe French? He hadn't known that Snape knew other languages.

He was still pondering it when Snape answered for him. "It's the sixth book of De Casibus Virorum Illustrium, by Giovanni Boccaccio," glancing up at Sirius' confused face, he elaborated, "Latin. It means 'On the Fates of Famous Men'. It's a collection of biographies."

Sirius frowned, "It sounds boring to me," he said doubtfully, "I didn't know you could read Latin," he continued, looking down at Snape.

"There's a lot you don't know about me, Black," Snape looked up from his book, staring across the room, as if debating something before continuing, "I can also read Italian and Sanskrit," he briefly glanced up at Sirius, "You should know at least _some_ Latin. Most of the spells are twisted translations."

Sirius whistled, genuinely impressed, while Snape tipped his head back to regard him with a shielded expression. On impulse - at least, that's what he told himself later - Sirius leaned down and planted a kiss on Snape. The other boy stiffened again, unsure when Sirius drew back.

Once again, this time a bit more hesitantly, Sirius came around Snape's chair and started to climb onto him. This time it was his turn to be on the receiving end of a wand. He stopped as the tip bumped into his neck, looking at Snape questioningly.

"I told you," said Snape quietly, "I don't know why you did it, but what happened was a lapse in judgement. I want you to leave. This is the last time I'm going to let you leave without hexing you."

Sirius drew back slightly, considering Snape's face. He seemed quite serious, but Sirius could see the desire that was struggling to be ignored in the back of the other's eyes. He smiled slightly and climbed all the way onto Snape, whose face hardened."Severus," he whispered, trying the name out. It sounded weird on his tongue, but Snape's eyes widened slightly in surprise. "Snape," he continued, "I honestly don't know why I did it either, but I'm upset, and I'm horny, and damn it all, you're here. I know you want it as much as me," he said carefully, watching Snape's face, "So why are you resisting this?"

Severus stared at Sirius, his resolve starting to waver slightly. He wasn't used to attention that didn't involve being laughed at, and it threw him completely off guard. "Everything's about you, isn't it, Black?" he tried to sneer, but his heart wasn't quite in it. More quietly, he added, "I don't like getting hurt."

Sirius leaned in closer, and Snape drew back, his wand being gently moved aside as Sirius lowered it. "No one does, Snape. I'm sure you know I'm not really into serious relationships." He winced at the pun. Despite himself, Snape smirked. Sirius' voice was low and rough as he clamped down on Snape's arms, pinning him, "We could keep it…simple," he suggested, pausing a breath away from Snape's face, "Your choice."

Snape closed his eyes for a very long moment, having an internal conflict. He knew Sirius was using him. They both knew it, and Snape hated it. Hated him. But at the same time, that hatred was getting too strong again, and was bubbling over into something else, like a potion gone wrong. Snape had a horrible feeling that his hate was turning into lust. For Black, of all people. His thoughts shifted to Lily, and he blanched. What the hell would she say about this?

As if reading his thoughts, Sirius spoke again, more like himself, "I don't see her making you an offer." Snape opened his eyes slowly, turning his gaze to Sirius. All his emotions tumbled there, unable to settle. "Come on, Snape," wheedled Black, grinning that grin again, his voice soft, "It'll be fun."

Snape let out a slow breath, "You realize what you're saying. It's going to make me hate you even more. I ask once again, why me?"

Sirius nodded slowly, but laughed at Snape's question, leaning forwards the last few inches to steal a kiss, "Don't overanalyze it, Snape. Just go with it." He smiled at Snape, who finally gave into the other's demands and leaned forwards for another kiss. Sirius kissed forcefully back, bruising their lips. He nibbled on Snape's bottom lip, eliciting a moan from the other.

Severus was content to be held in place for the time being, but he started aching for more physical contact soon enough. Sirius still had his arms pinned down, and he pulled agitatedly, trying to yank free. Sirius let go when he realized what Snape wanted and wove a now free hand into the Slytherin's hair, wrapping the other around his back, pulling him tighter. Severus put an arm around Sirius' neck and his other, after dropping his wand, around his waist.

They started moving against each other, Sirius rocking back and forth slightly, Severus arching up and down spastically as he tried to figure out what to do with the new emotions swelling in him. He once again asked his mind where it had retreated to. There was no logic in what he was doing. It was downright stupid, and he knew it. But he wanted it regardless, knowing it was self-destructive, knowing full well that Sirius didn't care who he was, only that someone was there. It seemed that whenever Sirius came around, his logic ran away, deserting him when he needed it most.

Sirius derailed Severus' thoughts spectacularly, as their erections rubbed together through their pants, causing a wave of pleasure for both of them. Severus let out a low moan into Sirius' mouth, who was busy putting as much pent up passion and tongue into it as possible.

Taking on a small dare for himself to see if he could manage it, Snape pulled away from Sirius' lips, mouthing his way down the Gryffindor's neck. Sirius' grip tightened on Snape's hair, and he took in a quick, breathy gasp as Severus bit down on his pulse point. Not quite satisfied, Severus continued biting down on sensitive points along Sirius' collar bone, as Sirius tried desperately to remember how to breathe correctly.

Unable to remember, he yanked Severus' mouth instead back to his own. Severus fought this time for dominance, and after Sirius finally gave in, claimed Sirius' mouth.

Their hands fumbled along the lengths of each other's bodies, their eyes hazed, their breathing ragged. Severus was drooped in the chair, Sirius was laid out on top of him, shifting their bodies to command the most pleasure from them. Sirius was thoroughly enjoying himself when a hand snaked its way down into his trousers to stroke him. He gasped in shock, which melted into a moan as Severus clumsily pleasured him. But that drove Sirius even wilder. All of the slight blunders he was making, all of the things he should be doing but wasn't…it drove him crazy.

"Mhhm, didn't…know…you had…agh…it in you." Sirius choked out a cry as Severus maneuvered his hand, stroking the tip of his cock with a careful finger.

Severus crashed their lips back together holding Sirius close. He could feel Sirius edging closer to an orgasm, like he had done before. And, like Sirius, Severus wasn't about to hand it to him, per se. He stopped quite suddenly, and the shock of that made Sirius nearly scream. Instead, it came out as a muffled yelp into Severus' mouth, who broke away and grinned devilishly. He removed his hand completely, and attempted to sit up.

"Oh, no you don't!" Sirius gasped, clutching at Severus' face. "You can't do that!"

"I think you'll find I can," Severus replied, calmer than he felt. He felt so very giddy. Giddy was a word he thought he'd never compare himself too. He was completely drunk over the fact that he now had so much control over Sirius. That thought alone, made his abdomen constrict painfully with desire.

"Not fair!" Gasped Sirius, writhing, trying to get Severus to do something. Anything. Fine, he'd do it himself. Severus anticipated it, and grabbed the Gryffindor's hands, crushing him into another kiss, refusing to let the other boy relieve himself. Sirius moaned and whimpered, still struggling on top of him. He wrenched his face away, his breathing still haggard, trying to relieve the unbearable feeling. "Please, Snape." He sighed, his eyes shut tight, grimacing. "Come on! Don't do this!"

Severus merely lay underneath the crazed boy, gaining pleasure where Sirius lost it, grinning like a madman. Sirius grew frantic, trying desperately to get somewhere, too heated to easily come back down. Still, Severus waited, watching Sirius' face in fascination. The Gryffindor's eyes were squeezed shut as he flailed, succeeding in doing nothing but agitate himself further.

Then, finally, as Sirius thought he was going to go completely insane with need, Severus arched up his back, giving him purchase. They rubbed up against each other, and Sirius suddenly seized up and jerked oddly, crying out in relief as he came, making a mess of their clothes. Severus, with the knowledge that he'd been the one to drive Sirius crazy like that, followed in his climax almost immediately, blending his cry with Sirius'.

The exhausted Sirius went limp on top of the skinny boy, trying to catch his breath. Severus closed his eyes and breathed in deeply, noticing that Sirius had a distinct smell that was not unpleasant.

"Fuck," Sirius swore, his eyes open, stars still dancing a waltz of sensuality in front of him. He hadn't known Severus was about to do that. Snape released Sirius' arms, and Sirius, shaking, got off of him, allowing the other boy to sit up.

Neither would meet each other's gaze as their breathing returned to normal. Severus picked up his wand from the floor, and cast a cleaning spell on their robes. Sirius finally looked at Snape, whose face was still blank. The Slytherin looked up, and smiled hesitantly, to which Sirius grinned. "I didn't think you'd do that," he admitted.

Severus merely shrugged again, "Like I said, Black, like I said. You don't know much about me."

* * *

**A/N:** So, I've never really been able to hold true to their original characters, and in previous versions were completely OOC. I'd love it in a stereotypical, fangirly way if they did suddenly stop hating each other and were able to see past their differences, but my Severus-minded, logical brain tells me it just wouldn't happen. They have many similarities, but many differences. So, this is (if I'm honest with myself), the only way I could see them ever doing anything together other than spending time in the hospital wing. By trying to confuse/drive the other one crazy/acting completely off of hormones and being horny. ;) Knowing them, they'll probably deviate from that anyways and probably start to care. Because, be honest, even if you're just f*ck buddies, you're going to wind up looking out for them just a little.

I absolutely _adore_ constructive criticism. I want to try to improve my writing. Too often do I find myself disgusted with it. :/ Anyways, I hope at least, you enjoyed this. I promise not to take forever in getting the next chapter up, though it might be a day or two. I guess insomnia can sometimes be helpful.

**Random Tidbit That You Probably Don't Even Care About:** Severus' book actually does exist, and as far as I can tell, it's written in Latin, even though the author is Italian. So, just to cover all my bases in case it wasn't, I let Severus be tri-lingual. Well, quadruple, if you count English. I can't quite remember if he actually _did_ know any other languages. If anyone knows, let me know? But for now, he's a complete nerd and can speak Awesome.


	3. Your Love is My Drug

**Disclaimer:** Not mine, just...borrowed. Without permission. But, ah, with every intention of giving them back! Nah, not really. -keeps them-

**Momentary Randomness Alert: **Music, oftentimes, is my muse. The previous chapters were names of songs; Guilty Pleasure by Cobra Starship, and On Top by The Killers. Still having issues deciding about this one, so unnamed for now! /endrandomnessalert

Sorry it took a few days! Getting into their heads was a bit harder than I first thought, and life just loves to take inopportune moments to throw you problems. -sigh- And I was going to upload what I had yesterday, but it was about half this length, and I couldn't bring myself to do it without writing more first.

* * *

The next day, as Sirius was walking down the hall, laughing at one of James' jokes, a spell hit him in the back of the head, knocking him completely over. He spun around, standing up and swearing colorfully. The hallway quickly became devoid of students - they had all learned to stay away from Sirius Black and Severus Snape when the two fought. Severus stood a few paces away from the Marauders, and lowered his wand slowly, smirking.

"What the _hell_, Snivellus? I haven't so much as touched you in a week! That was completely uncalled for!" fumed Sirius, rubbing the back of his head. He froze, then carefully touched the back of his head again. There was a huge chunk of hair missing.

"My record holds that you _have_. I did warn you." Severus replied breezily, still smirking, watching as the realization dawned on him. Sirius' eyes flashed in momentary nervousness. Snape wasn't stupid enough to say something about their…what would you even call that sort of relationship? He looked to James for help in his confusion, quickly realizing that Prongs wouldn't help this time; he was too busy laughing at Sirius' new 'haircut'. Sirius scowled and punched him in the shoulder.

"You're such an ass, Prongs. Really, whose side are you on?" snapped Sirius, turning back to Snape, "And as for you," he snarled, I'm going to beat the snot out of you." He stepped forwards menacingly, but Severus threw another hex at him. Sirius yanked out his wand, barely deflecting it. Peter was busy laughing, and supporting a James whose legs were giving out on him, as he shook in laughter.

Remus looked worried, and stepped forwards nervously as Sirius managed to disarm Snape. "Uhm, guys, there's no need to fight. Can't we just-"

"Didn't you see my hair!" Sirius asked him, grabbing Snape and roughly shoving him up against the wall, causing Severus to groan. Severus would have sworn it was because he hit his head against the solid bricks. Honestly. "It'll take _forever _to grow it back," he mourned, glaring at Severus, who only smiled like a cat.

Remus rolled his eyes, "Sirius. Really? Come on. It's not worth it. You already got detention for two weeks yesterday for helping Peeves coat the staircases with gravy. Let's just go see Pomfrey. I'll bet she can grow your hair back in easily."

Sirius looked at Severus with a critical eye. The scrawny boy would usually be yelling and fussing by now, sometimes pleading to be let go - but that was only once in a while. Snape usually put up a fight when he was about to get the stuffing beaten out of him. But now the Slytherin git was simply grinning, unable to contain his glee at getting one over on Black. He looked, for all the world, like Sirius would, were their places changed. What a thing! To suppose that he was rubbing off on the slime ball.

He started to laugh at that, throwing his head back theatrically, surprising his friends, and Snape. When he'd finally subsided to shaking with laughter, Severus tried vainly to edge away. Sirius' grip tightened, his attention back to Snape, who lifted a shoulder as if to say, _you can't blame me for trying_. "You going to let me have it now, Black?" He asked, eyes shining with what could be mistaken as brimming tears from afar, but was merely amusement, "What'll it be this time? A blow to the head? I'm sure you'll get in a few good licks, at the very least," his voice didn't sound as snarky as it usually did, try as he might, tinged as it was with humor at his double-entendre.

Sirius, always one for dirty jokes, didn't miss the innuendos, and he smirked at Snape, "I just might," he threatened, leaning in closer and scowling, though his eyes were still bright with amusement, "But you shouldn't be so contentious," he continued slyly, "Or people will start noticing how hot-blooded you can get. It's not often you score on me." A seductive smile flashed across his face for half a moment.

Severus narrowed a glare at Black, his eyes burning, but with what, he wasn't sure. Black was certainly making for exciting conversation today, but he wasn't sure how long to draw the encounter out, fearing that maybe the other Marauders - dirty as their minds already were - would easily catch on.

Once again, his logic deserted him as he threw caution to the winds, raising an eyebrow a moment later in disdain for the boy pinning him. He always ended up pinned against something when Black was around recently. Not that he could complain, per se. "I take pride in that, Black. I'm one of the few people that have been successful in bringing you down. Making the score marks neck on neck, you might say," he remarked in what he hoped was a tetchy tone, referencing the previous night when Severus had gained control over Sirius.

"Yeah, and mark me good," Sirius breathed, succeeding in making a snarl, "I'll get you back soon for my treatment, and you'll be sorry." He drew back, releasing his grip on Snape's robes.

"I doubt that," Severus smirked, although he was unsure of which treatment Black was referring to. He watched the Gryffindor gang walk off before retrieving his wand. Black was equally unsure whether Snape meant he would be sorry, or if he thought Sirius would be able to get him back. He shook his head; it felt weird with a large portion snipped short.

His friends - _Hmph, you call yourselves friends, you jerks?_ - accompanied him to the Hospital Wing, where Pomfrey explained that she could grow it out a few inches, but only that much a day, so that she wouldn't accidentally bespell it into growing fast and continuously. Apparently hair was touchy like that. Of course it would be, Sirius thought with an extra dose of sarcasm. He chose to have it all cut short and grown out again equally, rather than endure the choppy look bestowed by Snape.

When he exited the hospital wing later, he could have sworn he saw a girl brush away a tear as she saw his hair. He rolled his eyes.

* * *

"So what was up with you earlier, Padfoot?" Queried James later at dinner, leaning over the mashed potatoes to hear over the noise. "You didn't make good your promise to Snape. Why didn't you send a good blow or two his way?"

Sirius coughed uneasily at James' choice of words, but upon seeing his friend's face, knew it was done in ignorance of the situation, "Uh, well, I…" he sat up a bit straighter as he found a good response, "I listened to Moony." The werewolf in question glanced up in surprise from his dinner, raising an eyebrow, "What?" Sirius grinned, "You _did_ tell me to leave him alone."

"Well, yeah, but when have you ever actually listened to me?"

"Since today. I just wasn't really in the mood for having a sore hand all day."

"Huh?" Peter asked, jumping into the conversation, "Why would you have a sore hand?"

"Have you punched Snape before? The git is all bones. There's not a soft place on his body. I bruised my hand last time I nailed him." Sirius grumbled, stiffening as he heard someone walking past suddenly turn into an asthmatic, coughing forcefully as they badly concealed laughter. He dipped his head to hide his own smirk, knowing who it must have been without looking around. He casually glanced around a few moments later as he took a swig of pumpkin juice, confirming it was Snape who'd walked past him, apparently overhearing him too. He watched out of the corner of his eye as the Slytherin asked Professor Slughorn what was probably a very dull and technical question about potions, before heading back down the aisle way.

He glanced at his friends as he stuck a forkful of peas in his mouth. Remus had finished dinner and had his nose in a book. James had pulled out his stolen snitch and was catching it, for the amusement of Peter, and for the hope of just a glance from the direction of a pretty red head farther up the table. They didn't notice Snape walking by until it was too late; probably wouldn't have noticed at all if Sirius hadn't yelped at the backhanded cuff he received from the jerk.

"Little blighter," he muttered, rolling his eyes to show his friends he wasn't bothered enough to go after him for it.

It wasn't until later that night, getting ready for bed and running his hands repeatedly through his strangely short hair, that Sirius found the note. How had it gotten into his pocket without him noticing? Sirius would have to find out at some point. He waited until the others were asleep before daring to read it, just in case. But as it turned out, Snape wasn't about to be as stupid as to sign anything like that.

_Nice hair cut. Hear you've got detention for two weeks. Shame. Guess I won't be meeting you for a bit. Seeing as how it's you with the detentions though, it's your choice next for when and where. And as much as I loathe to admit you're right, I fear I must. I look forward to our next…assignation. No, I will not use simpler words. Get a dictionary. I hate you. Still._

Sirius tucked the note away, grinning at his curtains. Snape had gone from never wanting to see him again, to looking forwards to their next meeting. He couldn't help but feel smug. But what to do about detention? He was always irritable with detention. It left him no free time. McGonagall usually made him grab some quick dinner, and then set him to scrubbing floors or something until later at night. By then he was too exhausted to even think about other forms of physical exercise, however pleasurable they might be. And in the morning, as a result, he was grouchy. After a week, he felt like a puritan, shunning any form of pleasure. Well, not shunning it intentionally, of course. He fell asleep, dreaming of infinite floors to clean and perpetual detentions.

Severus lay awake, watching the trees whisper back and forth to each other through the window, silently cursing Black every name in the book. Damn that Gryffindor and how he made him feel! Just the knowledge that Sirius was having intimate affairs of a sort with himself, Severus Snape of all people, made Severus' nonexistent self-confidence levels shoot much farther up on the spectrum. Not to mention it made his stomach do flips - the kind that felt really good - every time he thought about the night before. Which was also Black's fault. Deed. Doing. Damn it. And to damn it further, Severus was going to have to admit that he enjoyed the attention. He reminded himself that Sirius wouldn't have cared if he were a conveniently shaped rock, but felt oddly pleased that of all the people Sirius could have secret relations with, he'd been picked. Then again, Sirius had picked lots of people over his time at Hogwarts to have relations with. Severus scowled, ill at ease, unable to fall asleep for hours.

* * *

As he'd predicted, Sirius found himself growing irritable over the next few days. He tried to be aware of it and not snap at his friends, but as the week turned over to start again, it was hard not to. He couldn't help it! Sirius felt like he was being dragged from place to place with no say in the matter - a dog on a chain. He needed his freedom. In this case, his freedom was sex. Sirius Black just rolled like that.

Severus too, felt a slight change in himself, though it wasn't nearly as acute as Sirius' was. He found himself unable to concentrate for long enough on his work in the library without wondering if Sirius would turn up every half hour or so. He nearly made himself sick one day when he caught himself fantasizing about the Gryffindor. Dear God, was he really that needy? Did he already rely on Black that much?

So it was probably a good thing - at the least, a welcome relief for both of them - when Severus found himself being yanked sideways off of his feet and into a never-used classroom. Sirius literally attacked him once the door was safely locked and shut, grabbing a fistful of Snape's hair and yanking the other boy over to ravish his lips. Snape winced slightly, but didn't exactly dislike the rough treatment, pushing back against Sirius with just as much enthusiasm.

Black spun them and pushed Severus roughly up against a wall, remembering Severus' face the last time he'd done that. He grinned as the look appeared again, Severus' eyes fluttering closed as he made a small sound. Sirius buried his head into the crook of Severus' neck and sighed, "Odd as it is, I missed you."

Severus' eyes opened and he determinedly stared at the wall blankly as he felt himself close off from the world. "You mean you missed getting off with someone," he kept his voice as blank as his face, devoid of the slight bitterness he wanted to paint it with. Even though his expression and voice didn't give him away, when Sirius drew back look at him, his body language did. He edged away.

But like last time, Sirius stopped him, "What's that supposed to mean?" He asked, placing his hands on Snape's shoulders.

"Don't pretend to be that idiotic, Black," Severus said, still not looking at him in the eyes, "Don't pretend to have missed _me._"

Sirius' brow furrowed for a long moment, trying to decide on what to say. Should he retract the comment, or convince him that he'd spoken true? Had he even spoken true? Sirius' eyes grew wide in incredulity at himself as he realized that he couldn't even answer that question. He didn't know whether it was the physical closeness of someone or Snape himself that he'd missed. The two things were rather hard to separate from each other for some reason. Most likely because Sirius didn't usually pay attention to who he was with. He couldn't even remember the name of the last girl he'd had a fling with before Severus.

He chose the truth that he knew for sure, "Snape," he said, still uncomfortable with using the boy's first name, "I don't exactly have the best home life. I know for a fact it's better than yours, but for what my parents lacked in physical abuse, they've more than made up for in emotional neglect."

"What the hell is your point?" snapped Severus, a bit more forcefully than he'd meant, feeling miserable. This was why he hadn't wanted to get into anything with Black. He closed his eyes. And the jerk has brought up his father, too. Extra points.

"My point is, I throw myself into relationships because it makes me feel better. I feel needed and wanted when there's someone there to 'get off with', as you put it. I make them feel good. They make me feel good." Sirius explained, wincing as he said it.

Severus laughed, "And how is this supposed to make me feel better? I'm just a toy to you. I said from the beginning that this was a bad idea," he tried once again to leave, but Sirius held him in place.

"I just…" Sirius paused, "If Lily ever finally admitted deep feelings for you, don't pretend that you wouldn't drop me at the tip of a hat. I'm just as disposable," Sirius said, "We both get what we want out of this."

"And you presume to know what I want, now?" Severus still wouldn't look at him.

"I know you want to feel appreciated and needed, and that you feel good about yourself after we, you know, _do_ stuff." Sirius was pleased when Severus glanced at him, "Don't deny it," he continued, "And I want the same things. Like I explained before, being mortal enemies-with-benefits works out rather well." He didn't think the term 'friends-with-benefits' would have gone over quite so well. And he got Snape to crack the smallest of smiles.

Severus weighed Sirius' words carefully, still not feeling exactly well with himself. He knew that having this sort of relationship wasn't exactly smiled upon by others. He knew that doing this just to feel good about himself was also really bad. He might have been a Slytherin, but he still had standards. And morals. That seemed to conveniently elope with his logic whenever they were needed most. Finally, he let out a breath he didn't know he'd been holding.

He looked up at Black carefully, his expression guarded, "Guess I'm not used to it is all," he rubbed an arm, not completely sure why he was feeling so insecure.

Sirius didn't say anything, but leaned slowly closer, giving Snape a gentle kiss. For some reason, that turned Severus on even more than if Black had attacked him like before. Severus reached up to put a hand behind Sirius' neck, holding him in place as he returned the kiss, feeling lightheaded as it got more and more rough. Sirius pressed up tightly to Severus, yanking the Slytherin's robes askew to nip at his shoulder.

Severus gripped Sirius' hair tightly, amazed that he'd been able to grow it almost back to where it had been in so quick a time. Pomfrey sure knew her stuff. He dismissed those thoughts, turning his attention back to the boy that was now trying to crush him against the wall in his need to be closer. Carefully, he slid a hand up underneath Sirius' shirt, grinning as he felt the other boy shudder in response. He ghosted his hand up and down his back, tracing careful circles around the smooth skin.

Sirius pulled away from the mark he'd left on Severus' shoulder and kissed him again, moaning into the other's mouth as Severus found a sensitive spot near his shoulder blades. Somehow, Severus managed to lever himself off of the wall and push Sirius onto a desk. Sirius sat, loving the feeling of Severus' lips on his, and yanked off the green emblazoned robes. They fell to the floor in a heap, leaving Severus with just his white shirt and tie on.

"You sure the door's locked?" Severus mumbled over Sirius' lips, wrapping his arms around Sirius and holding him closer. Sirius just nodded, using what brain power he had that wasn't focused on snogging the hell out of Snape on unbuttoning his shirt and ripping off his tie. Sirius drew back for a second, admiring Snape's body. Sure, he was thin, but in a wiry sort of way. It was not unattractive. Severus' eyes were hazy with desire, and when Sirius didn't respond further, he shrugged his shirt off all the way and yanked Sirius' head up to meet their lips again. Sirius attempted to stand up - probably, Severus assumed, to shove him down onto a table instead - but Severus growled playfully and kept him where he was.

He pushed himself and Sirius down on top of the desk, necking at him as he helped Sirius pull off his belt. It clattered dully onto the floor. Sirius' breathing was ragged and irregular, his arms hanging limply off of the sides of the desk as he tried to rein in his ecstasy as Severus' hands roamed all over his body, snaking their way tantalizingly downwards at an infuriatingly slow pace. _Where the bloody hell did he learn this?_ Sirius had to wonder. He felt constricted; he loosened and then pulled off his tie, undoing a few of the buttons on his shirt.

Severus finally reached Sirius' trousers, undoing them with deft fingers and sliding them down. Sirius let out a groan, biting down and accidentally splitting Severus' lip open. Severus gasped, letting out a soft cry. Sirius was about to apologize when Severus assaulted his lips, kissing him passionately, mingling his blood in their mouths. Sirius' eyebrows rose at this, but he was enjoying the current situation too much.

Severus stood back long enough to shed the rest of his clothes, and then paused, uneasiness coating his expression. Sirius looked up at him questioningly through half-lidded eyes. "I…I don't know what to do." Severus said after a moment, biting his lip, tasting the blood there.

Sirius' eyes went wide, and he sat up, placing one arm on Severus' side. "Are you saying what I think you're implying?" he asked after a long, thoughtful look at the boy in front of him. Severus' silence answered the question well enough. "I…" Sirius trailed off, unsure as well. Severus hadn't had actual sex before? Well, not that he could really be all that surprised, but he'd assumed…

Sirius looked up at Severus, who looked upset. Severus looked down at Sirius with an expression that sent a pang through the Gryffindor. Well, this was…awkward. He ran a hand through his hair, and rested his head on Severus' chest, sighing. Hesitantly, he felt Severus run a hand through his hair, and he closed his eyes for a moment, enjoying the feeling. He wrapped an arm around Severus, and then drew back, staring at him.

"Are you sure?" Sirius asked, for once, serious.

Severus was thrown slightly off guard, and his face closed up, becoming subdued again. But then he looked back up at Sirius and smiled slightly, "Better you than an even bigger idiot."

"Hey," Sirius tried to sound angry, "I'm the biggest idiot around here, and don't you forget it." He pulled Severus into another kiss, licking his lip where he'd accidentally bitten him.

"I don't," mumbled Severus, who was still being hesitant. Sirius pulled him back down on top of him, capturing his lips and fumbling for his wand. Severus' drew back slightly as he saw, uncertainty in his eyes.

Sirius suppressed an eye roll with an amazing display of willpower, and gestured towards Severus' very hard erection. "It's for you. I don't like pain _that_ much," he huffed, and Severus had to smile. Sirius mumbled something and then flicked his wand, lubricating and preparing Severus.

Once more, he hesitated, confused. Sirius grabbed the back of his head and pulled him over for a kiss. "Just do what you feel you should," he said softly, wrapping his legs around Severus and running his hands through his hair at the nape of his neck.

Severus took a deep breath and positioned himself, and then pushed his way into Sirius' wetness. Sirius' eyes flew shut and he choked back a scream, forgetting that Severus had absolutely _no_ clue about what to do, and thusly, no clue that one usually prepares the other before thrusting into them. Sensing that he'd made a mistake, Severus leaned down and kissed Sirius' forehead and temples, stroking his hair with one hand and supporting himself with the other as an apology. After a short while, Sirius felt himself relaxing. Severus felt it too, and after an uncertain glance at Sirius, drew back and then re-impaled Sirius carefully. Sirius moaned loudly, his face creased in pleasure this time.

Feeling more confident, Severus set out a pace that Sirius fell into rhythm with, arching his hips from time to time. Severus held onto the desk, and Sirius had wrapped his arms around Severus' neck. Severus kissed Sirius' collarbone, as the other boy drew out a breathy noise. He started to pick up the tempo, feeling his body start to demand that needs be met. Sirius' head hit the desk's top with a thunk as he lost the faculty to hold it up, feeling Severus hit his prostate. His breathing was fast and shallow, and Severus' mouth hung open in shock at what he was doing and how it felt.

"Harder…" Sirius choked out, staring up at Severus, who obeyed. He thrust into Sirius faster and faster, ramming himself as far as he could into the Gryffindor, grunting and moaning every time he did. Sirius' breathing kept hitching, and his eyes rolled backwards into his head as he whined.

Severus thought he could hardly take it anymore, and then Sirius made a high, keening sound, sending Severus over the edge as Sirius' stomach muscles clenched and his insides gripped Severus painfully tightly. Sirius' juice erupted over Severus' chest, and Severus stared unseeingly as he released his into Sirius, crying out.

Sirius recovered first, panting, trying to get his shaking arms to support himself as he rose up on his elbows to look at Severus. Severus stared at him, his mouth still hanging open, in shock. Sirius leaned in and stroked his face with one hand, smiling softly, and placing a chaste kiss on his lips. Severus started to scowl at the substantial display of affection, but he changed his mind as he saw Sirius was being, well, serious. They stared at each other for a long time, just catching their breath and regaining their composure.

After a while, Sirius straightened up all the way, running his hand through his hair and then ghosting his fingers across Severus' chest, making the other boy shudder. Carefully, Severus pulled out of Sirius, and then, tentatively, wrapped his arms around Sirius in what could have been defined as a hug. Sirius kept his arm where it was, around Severus' waist, but his grip tightened ever so slightly.

Then, as if that was that, Sirius hopped off of the table and slowly started gathering his clothes, pausing to clean himself and Severus (plus the desk) off. Severus followed suit, dressing faster than Sirius, and perched on a desk's edge, waiting. Sirius finished and shouldered his bag, walking for the door and pausing next to Severus. He stared at the door forlornly, "Detention's going to suck."

Severus grinned and pulled Sirius closer for a kiss, "'Least you'll have something to think about," he commented, receiving a laugh from the Gryffindor.

"Indeed," Sirius smiled, pulling Severus onto his feet. He spun at the door, pulling Severus into one more enthusiastic kiss, wrapping his arms around the other. Severus didn't exactly want to leave either, perching on a nearby desk and pulling Sirius halfway onto his lap.

After a few minutes, Sirius broke away and laughed again, "At this rate we'll never get out of the door," he paused, surveying Severus, and then quietly, asked, "Didn't you have an Advanced Potions class later in the afternoon as well as Potions with me?"

Horror spread across Severus' face as he realized he was late. "Oh, bugger, thanks Sirius." He kissed Sirius once more and then dashed out of the room, leaving a much less enthusiastic Sirius to head for detention. He didn't realize Severus had called him by his first name until he was halfway finished with scrubbing the main staircase. The thought kept him grinning like an idiot all night long.

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**A/N:** Ack, I think maybe they're a bit OOC. :/ Hmm. Well, I did my best. XD Hope you enjoyed! Reviews are made of love! Oh, and I need your opinion? Should Severus wind up with some detention with Sirius? I'm not sure - it's been done, like, a lot. Meh. I'd appreciate your opinions. ;) Hah, I had fun with their subtle innuendos. My mind's a bit dirty like that. Speaking of dirty, did anyone else Severus' slight kinky-ness in this one? Completely unintentional. I swear.


	4. Reclusion

**Disclaimer:** D: *has no own of them*

**Random Music Alert!:** Much as I don't like Ke$ha, her music is freakishly catchy, so there's my excuse for last chapter's title. This one is Reclusion, by Anberlin. :) Is pretty. You! Go listen to it now!

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With the wonderful timing that only Sirius possessed, he finished his detention a week before the holidays. This left his friends feeling quite miffed, because he was curiously missing on his first night of having no detention. James waited up for him, annoyed, and more than a little upset that his best friend was off - presumably - having fun with someone else and not spending time with his best mates.

He paced for at least an hour in front of the fireplace after dinner, fuming. After his initial anger died off, it was replaced by smoldering resent. He turned and stomped up the staircase, intent on using the map to track Padfoot down and give him a piece of his mind. He burst into the dormitory, glaring around and finding only Moony there, who was making his bed. James growled angrily, stomping to his bed and flopping onto it, leaning over the side to rummage around up underneath the frame.

"Wormy took it," informed a voice from over his head. James looked up under his arm at Remus and swore while Remus continued, "I didn't know you needed it, or I wouldn't have agreed to let him borrow it, James. Sorry."

"No, it's…whatever," huffed James, rolling back onto his bed and sitting up, "I just wanted to find Sirius. He's never around anymore. It's bothering me," he looked up at his friend and grabbed his arm in urgency, "What if he's replaced us?"

Remus laughed reassuringly and patted James' head affectionately, "Aw, no one could top us, mate. No one. Don't worry," he smiled at James, "He's probably just putting the finishing touches on a great plan for our monthly moonlit stroll." Remus winked, glancing out the window. It was going to be a full moon the next night, right before the holidays, and for once, Remus was really looking forwards to it. It meant that he wouldn't have to deal with his inner wolf at all while he was home, and he could truly relax and enjoy his time at home.

"Yeah, you're right, Remus," James stood up and sighed, smiling a moment later, "But I'm still mad at the git for keeping me in the dark about it! He'd better come clean when he gets in! I'm going to go wait down in the common room. Maybe Evans will be working on some homework or something," he smiled widely at the thought, strolling back out of the room, in much better spirits.

The moment the door closed, Remus' smile fell off of his face. He paced back to his bed and paused, staring down at it for a moment before yanking the covers back off of it again. The werewolf watched with growing worry as two dots on a piece of detailed, enchanted parchment practically merged into one, they were so close.

Sirius slammed Severus so hard into a bookshelf that several books threatened to fall off, tipping precariously as the animagus laughed quietly, kissing the other boy enthusiastically. His arms were around the Slytherin's slender frame, holding him close as he felt him up, grinning. Severus shoved Sirius away, glaring at him, annoyed. "What the hell, Black?" He glanced around before continuing, quieter than before, "Are you _trying_ to get us caught?"

Sirius laughed again and sidled up to Severus, who backed away, irked. "What's the problem, Snape? What's got your wand in a knot?"

"You," snarled Severus, stalking past him, his bag bouncing erratically as it swung from his shoulder, "I don't know what your problem is," he hissed, dropping his bag on his usual table, "But unless you haven't noticed, there's a lot of people here today. We aren't alone," he continued, more quietly, glancing at the bookshelves as if they were prone to gossip, "and I already told you," he continued, sitting down on the arm of a chair in a swirl of robes, "I can't today. I'm busy."

Sirius frowned, following Sirius over to the table, looking like a dejected dog. Which, he was, sort of. "But, it's almost break, Snape. Can't you wait to do your work until then?"

Severus glared at him, "No, I can't."

"Well, in that case…" Sirius smirked, sitting down and making Severus take a deep, calming breath, "Maybe we can do our work together!" He started to pull out some scrolls, but a pale hand stopped his.

"Sirius." Severus said firmly, making Sirius look up in surprise. That was the second time that Severus had used Sirius' first name, and their growing familiarity with each other was a little confusing, if Sirius tried to think about it too much.

The grey eyed boy stared at Severus expectantly, "Yes? Well, spit it out. What?"

Now Severus seemed a little unsure of what he was going to say. He bit his lip, staring intently at Sirius as he thought. Sirius was just about to huff in exasperation when he finally spoke, "Why are you here, Black?"

"To be with you; I thought that was obvious." Sirius said immediately, unsure of what Severus was trying to prove.

"Why aren't you with your friends?" Severus stared at him, making sure his face was blank, "Isn't it almost time for your romp through the grounds?" His eyes darkened at the memory of his almost-death, or at the least, almost-monthly, life-long problems.

Sirius' eyes grew wide as he realized Severus was right. "Merlin, what kind of friend am I?" He cried, jumping up and looking around, "I completely forgot! The full moon's tomorrow!"

Severus stayed silent while Sirius rambled on, waving his arms and despairing. As much as he enjoyed Sirius' company - oh hell, he actually admitted that he enjoyed Sirius, of all people to hang around with, didn't he? - he envied the Gryffindor his friends. At least Sirius had friends, who cared about him and noticed when he went missing for long periods of time. Severus merely had acquaintances, who sought him out when they needed help with homework, or were great friends with him while he was mixing up an illegal potion for them. His conscience couldn't quite sit easily, knowing that he was keeping Sirius from his friends. Much as he hated them, they'd been there first.

Sirius was acting like a chicken with its head cut off, practically running in circles in his inner debate. Severus backtracked his thoughts to figure out what he was upset about, and nearly laughed. Sirius was debating whether or not to go back. Severus stopped him with a sharp cuff to the back of his head, causing Sirius to howl and stop to glare at him. "Idiot," Severus shook his head, flopping into a chair, "Just go back to your dorm and hang out with them. Sheesh."

Sirius dropped his arms from rubbing his head and sighed, "Well, yeah, but I can go do that later." He tried to smile mischievously again, "After I finish up some other business."

"Please, Black, save it for someone on which that actually works. Don't you think it seems a little strange to them that it's your first night off of detention, and you're not there to celebrate?" Severus regarded him with a quirked eyebrow.

It was Sirius' turn to bite his lip while he debated on what to do. "But, well…" he glanced at Severus, giving him a look that dared him to laugh at what he was about to say, "I wanted to celebrate that with you."

Severus rolled his eyes and huffed, though, secretly he was rather pleased by this admission. "Black, I'm going to pretend that you did _not_ just sound like an adolescent girl right now, and I'm going to tell you again to get your ass back up to your friends. They're all going home for break soon anyways, I presume."

"Yeah," Sirius ran a hand through his hair in agitation, "but…" he paused as Severus pulled out his wand angrily.

"Don't make me jinx you to get you to listen to me. Just. Go." Severus snarled, feeling his temper snap. Why was he even so worked up about this? He shoved the confusing emotions back and focused intently on a hex to use if he needed to. He wanted to be left alone. And, oddly enough, he wanted Sirius to go spend time with his friends. At least his friends deserved him. He bit his tongue as that self-depreciative thought crossed his mind.

Sirius hesitated only slightly, but he was more than a little relieved that Severus wasn't making him choose between his friends and him. He was making the decision for him, even. The tall Gryffindor smiled gently and approached Severus once more, carefully incase the boy made good his threat. Severus seemed to have seen the acceptance and decision in Sirius' face, because he lowered his wand and allowed his archrival to steal a kiss. Sirius ran a hand through Severus' hair and smiled broadly again, hesitating as if he were about to say something else, but instead he straightened up.

"See you later," Severus said in farewell, and Sirius waved as he walked away, back through the library to the more frequented parts, and towards his friends.

Lily rounded the corner, intent on finding Severus and having a decent conversation with him again, and froze in shock, before quickly recovering and diving back behind the bookshelf for cover. She peered around again, stunned by the company Severus had chosen for himself. That jerk? The one that thought with his dick instead of his brain? Sirius Black was not exactly the type of person she could see Severus having a discussion with. He was one of his main tormentors!

She watched the end of the exchange with curiosity, as Severus pulled his wand on Sirius and told him to leave. She breathed a sigh of relief. That was more the kind of Severus and Sirius relationship she was used to. She was about to turn around and come back over a bit later to talk to Severus when Sirius did the completely unexpected.

If it could have, her mouth would have hit the floor. Sirius Black just _kissed_ Severus Snape. She felt like someone had yanked the rug from under her feet. What the hell was going on! And Severus was _letting _him!

Sirius walked away, seemingly content; not disgusted, as she thought he might have were this a sick joke. And, wait. Severus was smiling. She sat down hurriedly, feeling her head spin. Unfortunately her quick descent to the floor made a muffled thump, and Severus turned around to see what it was. His eyes betrayed the horror and fear that he felt when he otherwise calmly greeted her, "Lily, hi. Are you alright?"

He stood out of his chair and helped her to her feet, leading her to a chair and sitting her down.

"Oh, yes, Severus, fine, really," she mumbled, and smiled rather convincingly, "I don't know, I just felt dizzy all of a sudden."

Severus accepted the lie, all too ready to hear that she hadn't overheard or overseen what had just taken place between himself and a certain other dark-haired boy.

"Right. Well. What brings you over here?" he asked, glad that Lily was speaking to him, that maybe he'd still come out of his school years with his first, so far only, and longest standing friendship intact.

"I was looking for you," she said truthfully, tapping her bag, "I thought maybe we could do some homework together." Severus looked at her oddly, but he didn't turn down her offer as he had Sirius'.

They continued conversation for a while, catching up on recent news with each other. All the while, Lily didn't say anything about Sirius, leading Severus to believe that she really did only turn up after his and Sirius' goodbye.

They'd just gotten about halfway through a History of Magic essay when Lily couldn't bear it any longer. She set down her quill and folded her arms carefully.

"Severus," she said, and smiled at him when he looked up, getting one in return. She watched him for a moment before continuing hesitantly, "You know, I used to be the only one that could make you smile." Her expression remained gentle, but Severus' smile slipped off of his face instantly, and fear grew over his expression.

"Lily, I…" he stammered, "I don't know what you're talking about."

"I saw you earlier, Sev. I saw him," Lily said firmly, and when Severus still looked hopeful that he could lie his way out of it, she continued, "With you." She raised her eyebrows to be clear on her meaning, and Severus stayed silent, staring at her with a mixture of feelings crossing his face.

She reached out and took one of his hands, reading his face and continuing, "I'm not sure it's a good thing to get mixed up with him. You've seen the way he acts. And I'm afraid I don't understand why you're letting him. I thought you hated him."

Severus still looked like he'd been hit over the head with a mountain troll's club, but he shook his head and looked away from Lily's searching gaze, "I _do_ hate him," he felt exasperated, "I don't understand either, Lily. It just…he…I…we…" He shrugged and glanced uneasily at Lily, who gestured to say that she would listen.

Somehow, Severus managed to form a coherent sentence, "I was up late one night a few weeks ago in the library. Here, actually, and Black came calling for some revenge," he paused, staring at the table as he remembered that night, "He got it in a most…unusual…way." He glanced again at Lily, noting that she was on the same page. Smart girl. Good. He wouldn't have to explain in detail.

"Um. I told him it was a mistake and told him to leave me the hell alone." He couldn't even begin to try and describe his warring emotions, so he skipped them, "And then he came looking for me again. Said he liked it." He bit his lip, upset, "And I did too. He said we could keep it simple," he continued, looking to Lily for support. He was starting to shake, frightened at all of the memories welling up that he'd worked hard to keep down. It scared him to think of how far it had gone. Was going. He gritted his teeth, hating Sirius even more for making him feel like this. He hated the damned Gryffindor for bringing up the past. Those were _his_ skeletons that were supposed to stay locked in the closet. He had no right waltzing in and ripping off the door!

"And then…then…" he took in a deep breath, "I…I…" he looked at Lily wordlessly, "I don't know why I did it." Well, that was a lie. He knew why'd he'd done it. He was a male hormonal teenage wreck, and was horny, that was why. But he didn't know why he'd chosen Sirius. The damned Gryffindor had even presented him an opportunity to back out of the situation, but had he taken the safe way out? No, he'd signed a deal with the devil himself. He tried again to explain to Lily, "I…he…the classroom, and I was upset, and then Sirius l-let…me…" He choked back a sob that suddenly formed in the back of his throat and he stared angrily at the ceiling. It was ridiculous. He should _not_ be upset about this! He knew the consequences of his actions. Getting hurt. He knew it would have reminded him of other parts of his life. Why did he always get hurt?

A pair of arms wrapped themselves around him, pulling him into a hug. He looked up at Lily, who was now perched on the arm of his chair and felt miserable. He was caught in a horrible place. Trapped between someone who could give him what he needed, and someone who could give him what he wanted. The only problem was, he couldn't remember who was what anymore.

She stroked his hair a little and waited. "This was a bad idea from the start. I don't know why I did it. I just…" he sighed heavily, and Lily brushed some hair out of his eyes, "I wanted to feel needed. I like feeling wanted. Loved, even if it's all just a farce," he glanced up at Lily and touched her cheek gently, "I just don't know why I chose to let Sirius be the person to make those feelings, or why I chose a farce over something better."

Lily firmly but gently pulled Severus' hand away from her face, sending him a clear message. She couldn't be with him. He was a wonderful friend, and like a brother to her. They'd grown up together. She just couldn't see it. It felt wrong to her. Something akin to resignation passed over Severus' face, and he sighed.

"You could have come to me, Severus."

He shook his head, "No, I couldn't. You can't help me in the way that I needed," he glanced up and smiled briefly, "But you help me in many more ways."

Lily sat quietly for a bit, her arm still comfortingly around Severus' shoulder. He didn't mind it, even though she'd turned him down. Again. He was expecting it, but that didn't mean he was going to give up completely. He'd just let the sleeping dogs lie. Finally, she asked what had been at the back of both of their minds, "Severus, what about…" she hesitated, "Your father." She said quietly.

Severus stared at the floor, seeming uneasy, "It was a long time ago, Lily," he mumbled, "I try not to think about it much. It's not the same," he shook his head then, but whether he was enforcing his statement or rejecting it, Lily wasn't sure.

She seemed afraid to say any more, and fiddled with a lock of her long hair for a minute, "Severus…it's not good, what you're doing."

He laughed bitterly, "I know that, Lily. It's not like we were friends in the first place though." He was lost in thought. Now that Lily had brought it up, he wasn't sure he could handle any more. He could feel himself growing more and more needing of Black's attention, and, dare he think it, even protective of him. He felt himself falling into ruts that he'd sworn never to relive again. He gritted his teeth. Merlin, he was hopeless. No, best to just stop and pretend it never happened. One more thing to lock in the already bulging closet of secrets.

"What are you going to do?" Lily finally asked.

He looked at the floor, "I'm not going to be hurt again, like I always am." His gaze hardened, and Lily watched as the old Severus Snape returned, eyes turning cold like the night sky.

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**A/N:** Sorry about the lack of updates - I'm moving into a new apartment! Very exciting, but I'm afraid it's been putting a damper on my computer time. ):

Thank you everyone who's reviewed/watched/put on alert/etc. this story! They make my day! I have two chapters coming up simultanelously for you to make up for my non-activity. And Merry Christmas! Hope you all had a good one, and also, Happy New Year! I might try to fit in some sort of New Year celelbration chapter thing, if I can get to that part of the plot in time, haha. Wait...this has a plot?

Also, special thanks to **Anna Finley**and **the random notes that you get** for your reviews. :) Anna, I was thinking along the same lines as you and there'll be some conflict soon, don't worry. Sirius and Severus are starting to have doubts/worries/confusion thrown at them. Teehee. And Random Notes, I agree, it was a little bit OOC for Sirius to bottom, but I have my reasons...sort of. Well. Anyways, I tried to address it/explain and reason it in the next chapter, so let me know if it works/sounds right to you!


	5. Viva La Vida

**Disclaimer: **Don't own, don't sue! ;D

**Random Music Alert: **Viva la Vida, by Coldplay. I am not in their band, so therefore, I am sad. ):

For the purposes of this fic, I'm assuming that Lily and Sirius don't exactly get along. I mean, she's not dating Potter yet, so she probably still thinks they're all total idiots, haha. And I have a feeling like they wouldn't really get along even then until they all joined the Order and had to work together and such and stuff.../rant. Anywho. Yeah. Enjoy!

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Sirius headed for the common room, thinking frantically as he walked. What could he use as an excuse? His mind raced, but by the time he'd gotten to the portrait of the Fat Lady, he had his lie in place.

James looked up over a game of wizard's chess with Peter and grinned as Sirius entered through the portrait hole, his earlier anger either gone, or not showing, "Pads! Where've you been? I was starting to think you'd found something more interesting than us."

Remus glanced up from the book he was reading to watch Sirius' face. Sirius just laughed breezily, "Oh, come off it, Prongs, there's nothing more interesting than my three best mates! Not even the excitement of sneaking into Honeyduke's for the first time again would keep me away from a normal day with you guys!"

James grinned, but then, glancing at the chess set, gasped, "Oi! How'd you get my queen!" He wailed at Peter, staring over the board frantically as he tried to work out where Peter had moved. Peter just grinned. He wasn't the best strategist in the world - he'd admit that himself, but even he could beat James at chess. The seeker couldn't hold his attention long enough on it to win. It made you wonder how James could concentrate long enough to win a Quidditch game.

Sirius flopped into an armchair, staring into the fire while he listened with a smile to James complaining and Peter laughing. He glanced at Remus and smiled; Remus smiled back, but Sirius noticed something was off with the werewolf, and it wasn't the approaching moon. He shot him a questioning look, but Remus just blinked - later.

Padfoot shrugged it off, and turned back to Peter and James right on cue as they pulled him back into the conversation he hadn't been paying much attention to. He pulled out his lie for them - that he'd been making plans for their midnight excursion the following day - and winged it as he went (he hadn't thought far enough into his lie to actually come up with said plan for their 'romp around the grounds'). But if there was one thing Sirius Black could do best, it was improvising. Remus smiled to himself as Sirius came up with the same excuse that he'd made for his friend earlier that evening, but then his face fell again as his thoughts continued on to why he'd had to lie.

Eventually, James gave up waiting for Lily to come back and headed upstairs for bed, while the other three Marauders stayed up, doing homework and laughing. Well, Remus, at least, did some homework, and Sirius and Peter laughed and joked. Peter eventually started falling asleep, so, laughing, Remus banished him off to the dorm room to sleep.

The last two canine-teens stayed up, laughing and joking occasionally, but content to sit in each other's company. When the last of the students had trickled up to bed, Remus set down his quill and turned to Sirius.

It took Padfoot a few minutes to realize it, and that was only when Remus slid something across the table to him. He looked at Remus and smiled, then glanced down at what Remus was holding. All the color drained out of his face. "You forgot it this time," Remus said quietly, sitting back in his armchair, his body language unassuming. Sirius just mouthed soundlessly at the Marauder's Map, trying frantically to think.

"Oh, silly me," Sirius half-laughed, rubbing the back of his head in worry, tearing his gaze away from the map, "I'd better get more careful, or I'll have detention all through break!"

"Sirius. Be…" Remus sighed and rolled his eyes, "Serious. Why the hell your parents gave you that name is beyond me, because you're anything _but_ serious."

"I _am_ Sirius!" Sirius said brightly, wondering if he could worm his way out of this one. Something about Remus' look told him he couldn't though.

Remus watched Sirius' face and continued, tapping the map, "Would I be naïve to think that the two very close dots I saw on that were that way because the two people were trying to strangle each other?" he asked.

Sirius' face fell again and he sighed, pulling his legs onto the couch to sit cross-legged. When no story was forthcoming, Remus supplied another question, "So that begs the question, what _were_ you doing?"

Padfoot threw Remus a dirty look, who took it in stride, "Come off it Remus. You're not stupid. You know perfectly well what we were doing. Well," he thought back to the evening and smirked again, "What _I _was _trying_ to do."

"So it's only happened this once?" Remus said, slightly hopeful. It wasn't that he didn't approve of that sort of thing. He'd known Sirius long enough to have gotten over that early on, and he wasn't afraid of Sirius getting hurt, either. He was simply worried that Sirius had gotten himself in over his head this time. He didn't seem to understand that when he eventually blew people off after his fun with them, they tended to be hurt. He didn't exactly care for Snape's welfare either, but all the same. People were people, and it wasn't the nicest thing to be strung along and then hung out to dry.

"Er. Not exactly. It was the first time he stopped me…" Sirius laughed uneasily, and Remus sighed, amazed that Sirius was able to make jokes out of things like this.

"What are you doing, my friend?" He asked, sighing. "This is one prank I don't think he's going to like very well when you pull the grand finale."

Sirius looked up sharply, his voice slightly odd, "Who said anything about a prank?"

Remus' eyebrows almost disappeared into his hair, "What the hell?" Was all he could say.

Sirius looked away miserably and stared into the fire again, crossed his arms, and gritted his teeth. "Look, I-" he paused, and started again, "Well, he's…" He sighed and rubbed his temples, "Snape and I aren't as different as I once thought, in ways. We both enjoy attention of that sort - well, I enjoy attention of any sort, really - but we don't exactly enjoy the attachments that come with that attention, per se," he shrugged, and said it, as if he were trying to convince himself, "We both get what we want out of this."

Remus let out a slow breath, "Sirius, that's not smart. One of you is going to get very badly hurt by this. Why can't you ever be careful?"

"Oh, come on, Remus! It's Snape; he can handle anything, and I'm me, aren't I?" Padfoot smiled reassuringly at his friend, but his face fell when Moony's didn't change, "Remus, look, I know it's a road to self destruction. So does Snape. Besides, we've always hated each other. What could possibly go wrong? The worst thing that'll happen is that we'll go back to resenting each other."

Remus didn't look convinced, "How long has this been going on?"

"Uh, remember when he slipped that bewitched frog into my drink, and then it exploded all over me when I spat it out?" Sirius smiled awkwardly, "It's not a prank now - at least, I don't intend it to be - but…it was when it started." He made an amused face and glanced pointedly downwards before grinning widely.

"Oh, Merlin, Sirius," Remus said, following Sirius' subtle train of thought rather easily, unable to keep the horror out of his voice, "That's disgusting."

Sirius just laughed, "Wasn't to me."

"Ack! No! Enough!" Remus clapped his hands over his ears and laughed, while Sirius grinned. They fell into silence again, but Remus had another question all too soon.

"Sirius?" He glanced at the boy in question, who rose an eyebrow, uncannily like Snape could, "Uh, if you don't mind me asking…I mean, I know you don't screw and tell, but…how far did you two go?" He seemed uneasy about the question, and Sirius' other eyebrow joined the first.

"Why do you want to know? Jealous?" Sirius smirked, even though he knew the time for joking was long since past.

Remus looked uncomfortable, "You know I've always been slightly uneasy about us teasing him." He shot Sirius a glance but knew he wouldn't tell on him. Remus went along with it mostly because he was afraid of losing the only friends he'd ever had, "But, well, it's because when I first came here, Professor Dumbledore had a meeting with me to discuss what they'd do with me at the full moon. You know that, but, um, afterwards, when I left, Snape was coming up the stairs with Professor Grubbly-Plank." He smiled slightly, "Apparently Dumbledore wanted to discuss personal matters with him as well."

Remus looked so ashamed at this point that it was making Sirius feel bad just watching him. "I guess I already had more than a bit of Marauder in me, because after Grubbly-Plank left to go back to the feast, I snuck back up to listen to Snape's conversation," his face was twisted with unease and anger, which made Sirius all the more worried. He was beginning to see where this was going, and he didn't like it one bit. Remus seemed to struggle with what to say for a minute, "I'm never going to say exactly what they talked about, ever, because I should never have gone back up there, but suffice it to say that Snape's father is seven shades of abusive."

"Oh, _fuck_." Sirius said quietly, his voice barely audible, and Remus jumped up to sit down next to his friend, taking his arm comfortingly. Sirius stared at the table and repeated his last statement again.

Remus merely nodded, and was silent for a while, lost in his own thoughts, before speaking up again, "Sirius…" he hesitated momentarily, "My question still stands." He put an arm around his friend soothingly, giving Padfoot's shoulder a squeeze of encouragement.

"I…he…" Sirius opened and closed his mouth several times and then swallowed, still too stunned at what Remus was hinting at. Snape's father abused him? And not only that…Sirius shut his eyes for a long moment, unable to even think it. How could a father - let alone anyone else - do that to a defenseless kid? A strange feeling dashed through him, and then he grimaced as sympathy and understanding shot into his thoughts for Snape. He'd never have thought that a day would come when he felt sympathy for the Slytherin.

"Blows, each. Lots of snogging, that sort of stuff. And the other night, I let him top me," Sirius spat it out as fast as he could, feeling a lump rising in the back of his throat. Wait, what? Was he, _the _Sirius Black, about to _cry_? That thought alone upset him, but he realized that he truly did feel awful about what he'd done. _I mean, _Sirius thought, _Yeah, I kind of took advantage of him the first time, but after that…why didn't he _say_ something? Why hadn't he even so much as mentioned it to me? _Sirius could feel his anger flaring up. The damned git was making him feel so horrible! He'd instigated this, and apparently at the cost of Sev- of Snape having to relive some bad memories. Sirius felt sick with himself, at the fact that it was all his doing.

Remus was stuck momentarily, trying to sort out what Sirius meant. He wasn't as well versed in sex as Sirius was, but he figured it out well enough. Part of Remus was absolutely appalled that Sirius even liked that sort of thing. He honestly could never see how it'd be very comfortable. But that was a very, very small part. Half of the rest of him was completely shocked at Snape, and what he'd let Sirius get away with in their…relationship, he supposed it was called. The other half of him though, was merely trying to think of a way to comfort his friend.

Sirius let out a breath he'd been holding, but it ended up being a choked sob. He shut his eyes tightly again as he felt the hot tears start to roll down his cheeks. Merlin, he hadn't cried for a long time. It did happen though, occasionally, when he got really worked up over something. And he was definitely worked up. He couldn't stop feeling guilty, and horrible, like the bad guy out of a really twisted story.

Remus pulled Sirius sideways into a hug, and Sirius buried his face into the other boy's shoulder. Remus let him, patting his back and just being there. Sirius let out several more gasping sobs, curling up on himself.

Damn Snape! Damn him from one end of time to the other! Sirius' mind was torn between guilt and anger. How could Snape not have said anything? 'Oh yeah, Sirius, we can go ahead and be fuck buddies. My dad only abused me like that when I was little, but hey, no worries.' Sirius' hand clenched on Remus' robe and he wrenched out a growl, feeling completely wretched. Now he felt like a completely horrible person, like he was as bad as Severus' father, and it was all Snape's fault! He hadn't told him! How was Sirius to have known? He gritted his teeth and sat up, glaring at the fire.

"I'm a complete scumbag, Remus." He said flatly, his tears welling up again, and he wiped furiously at his eyes. "I can't believe myself. Or him. I can't believe he didn't tell me. Don't you think he should have?"

Remus lifted a shoulder, unsure. "I don't know, Sirius," he said honestly, wrapping his arm around Sirius again. Sirius sighed, his tears slipping out as he gave up trying to rein in his emotions.

"Listen, Remus, can you keep this between us?" He asked, glancing at his friend, who nodded, "Thanks. Um, I…could you…I just…want to be alone for a while."

The werewolf nodded again, smiled at Sirius, and pulled his friend into another hug. "I'll be upstairs." He left quietly, and as Sirius sat back to brood miserably, he heard the portrait door open.

Drawing his legs up, he buried his head in his arms, hiding from whoever it was like a little kid. He didn't want to deal with anyone at the moment. Hopefully they'd get the message and go away.

"What's wrong with you?" Demanded an all too familiar and, in Sirius' opinion, all too annoying voice.

"None of your business, Evans," he muttered, snuggling his head down deeper and clamping his eyes shut. She probably knew, of course. Snape and she had been friends for years. She probably knew everything about the Slytherin. There was no response, and it was quiet for the longest time. Sirius thought maybe she had gone up to her dorm room. But he'd have heard the door open and close, wouldn't he? Maybe he missed it over the noise of his thoughts and his erratic breathing as he tried to stop acting like such a girl and crying.

He sniffed again, and uncurled himself, wiping at his eyes. Blurrily, he immediately noticed that Lily was not only still in the common room, but she'd somehow managed to get to be standing right in front of him without him realizing. He glared despondently up at her, trying to be sarcastic, "Oh no. You caught me. Good job." It sort of ended up sounding bitter, instead of sarcastic.

Lily just stared at him, her mouth slightly open, as though he'd surprised her. Maybe he had. Sirius wasn't exactly known for crying. In fact, he was known for making other people cry. Mostly girls. Sirius finally looked away from her, sniffing once. He wiped at his eyes again.

"You're crying." She said finally, as though she didn't quite believe it.

"And the Captain Obvious Award goes to…" muttered Sirius, drawing his legs up again to hug them. He stared at Lily again, waiting for her to say something.

"Why?" She asked, which was the usual question one usually is presented with in an unprecedented situation such as this one.

"Because I'm unhappy?" Sirius guessed, as if she were being rhetorical.

Lily frowned at him, already regretting having come over to see what was wrong with her classmate, "What, having love troubles again?" She snapped, about to throw in a more scathing remark, but Sirius' eyes flicked away from hers and he half shrugged, laughing bitterly, causing her to pause.

"You might say that," he mumbled, his face sad, resting his chin on his knees, and Lily stared at him again.

_So, let me get this straight,_ Lily thought to herself, _Sirius Black, the notorious man-slut and bothersome prick is crying. He's doing so because of my best friend, Severus. Somehow, he's finally got it through his thick head that you can't screw with people the way he does. _She winced at her unintended pun, _Or maybe he feels…bad. Wow, I have to give him more credit than I thought. Maybe he has a conscience after all._ Lily surveyed Sirius again, quirking an eyebrow, and then she did something unexpected.

They'd never been on the best of terms. Sirius always teased her, and Lily always annoyed him. So Sirius was rather confused when Lily sat down, pulled him into a crushing hug, and told him, "It'll be okay." Even though she wasn't actually sure about that. She sat like that for a long moment, and Sirius, after getting over feeling awkward, leaned his head on her shoulder. Then she finally broke away from him, "You should get some sleep." She gave him a small smile, patted his head, and then left for her dorm room.

Sirius didn't heed her words until the fire was burning low in the grate. His tears had dried up, and he felt eerily calm. He didn't even stop to wonder if Evans had figured it out. She was a smart girl, so she probably had. Or at least, had a suspicion. Sirius could only hope that she was loyal to a fault, like most Gryffindors, and wouldn't go blabbing it around. Somehow, he was pretty sure that Lily wasn't the gossip type.

He stood up and headed for his bed, reaching a decision as he climbed the stairs. He would have words with Snape about this tomorrow, and let the bastard know just how upset he was that Snape hadn't said a word about what Sirius' actions might have dredged up in the young wizard's mind.

All Sirius could think of as he crawled into his four poster bed, was,_ thank Merlin he had control the other day_. He thought back to their classroom escapade and half grinned, and half grimaced. Usually, he would have fought for - and, might he add, gained - top and made Severus lie there on the desk. But that brief glimpse of a self-assured and demanding Snape had been all too intoxicating.

He'd slipped from his usual beaten paths and strayed into slightly less known territory at the cost of seeing a usually so self-conscious person feel confident. Call it his inner dog if you must, but Sirius liked making people happier and to feel better about themselves, even if the person in question might have been a mortal enemy. Even so, his decision that day might have been a very good one. Sirius shuddered at the thought of what could have happened if their places had been swapped. Snape might have flipped out, had a flash back, been really really scared, or something even worse. And Sirius wouldn't have known what was going on, or why. He shut his eyes and shook his head, sighing.

Tomorrow, the less soft, more usual Sirius Black would confront Snape, and figure out what the hell was going on, of that, Padfoot was certain.

* * *

**A/N:** Reviews are made of love! Constructive criticism, even more so! Sorry that these two chapters were sort of filler, but they were necessary. I think.


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